I'm finding it really hard to start this story. For one thing, I know no-one's going to believe me. Even if they did, they wouldn't care. Besides, I hate greeting card poetry, and I can't think of a better way to tell this.
As I was walking home one day,
I spied Santa on his sleigh.
I'll never be able to keep the rhymes going for long enough, and I don't really understand meter anyway. So I'll struggle on with my ugly prose.
While worrying about my writing style, I've given my big surprise away. Yes, I really did meet Santa Claus. As it happens, I really was on my way home at the time. It was a clear night; I always look up at the stars when I can, even though they just remind me of what I've lost. But that's how come I saw him.
Bearing gifts for one and all,
He flew down to make his call.
Truth be told. I have no idea why he decided to park on Chesterton Lane. He never told me. The presents were real enough. Actually, they were better than real. They were what you'd always wanted to find around your Christmas tree, before you learnt to accept the way life really was. All shapes and sizes, with the most amazing wrapping. It seemed to sparkle like magic. Which I guess is what it was.
I'm getting ahead of myself; I was saying about how I was staring up at the sky and saw flying reindeer. Looking back, I should have pinched myself or something equally cliched, but I just stared.
I guess part of me has never really succeeded in growing up, even now with the steady job I could never have handled then. I started running towards where he was going to land. Wow, Father Christmas! By the time I'd got there, he'd already touched down. The reindeer were completely silent , calmly regarding the suburban street.
I don't know how long it took me to work up the courage to speak. I’m certain he knew I was there; he’s probably had this happen a hundred times before. Finally, I began: “Err, hello?”.
“Hello friend, and what might your name be?” He’s just like you’d expect from sentimental American movies. None of that “european folk heritage”. It didn’t matter if you were five or ninety-five, he’d treat you the same way. And his voice!
Then his booming voice I heard,
Magic fell from every word!
Atrocious, I don’t why I keep trying. It must be harder to write those greeting cards than I thought. I guess anyone reading this is tired of my worrying over how I tell the story, but it’s so hard to do the man justice. At least it's accurate; his voice really was something special; rich and full like the sherry he’s so fond of. He was fat without looking overweight and had incredibly rosy cheeks that framed a smile that never seemed to tire.
I guess if you’re reading this, you’re hoping that I’ll be able to answer some of the standard questions about Santa Claus. Sadly, when you meet someone famous, you babble. Well, I do, anyway. So I asked him why he didn’t know my name already.
“Now, friend, who has been telling you that I know everything? All I know is if you’ve been good or bad.” He made it sound like I had made a great joke; he was a good person to talk to.
“I guess.” I answered. “I don’t suppose you could tell me, could you? I’ve been wondering.”
His face turned serious, though kindly. “You have been, don’t worry about it.”
“I guess it’s a matter of perspective.” I said.
“Not really, no.” he told me.
He was dressed in white and red
From his feet up to his head.
“So, what would you like for Christmas, friend?” he asked.
“You know that.” I said quietly.
Clearly, from his reaction, he did. His tone became stern. “Now, you know that there are things that I can’t do. That no-one should do. I won’t hurt anyone, and I can’t make someone…”.
“Then what use are you?” I blurted out. I regretted saying it instantly; it was a pretty hurtful thing to say. I wanted to take it back, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Not a lot, my friend, not a lot.” he replied sadly. After that, there wasn’t much to say. He finished off doing whatever he was doing with his sleigh, made a somewhat awkward apology and flew off as soon as he could.
As he was about to go
I heard him shouting “Ho ho ho!”
Actually, he never said any such thing.
