Trust Me, I’m a Republican

The Econonist has published an (excellent) article about the way republicans in the U.S. are playing up the threat of rag-headed extremists trying to kill hardworking, decent Americans. Let’s be frank, this is old news. My mate and everyone else knows that right wing parties all over the world pretty much own the debate when it comes to national security and the economy. What’s shocking is how on earth they can still find votes in areas that they’ve pretty much proved they can’t handle.

The Counterfeit Cowboy’s game plan in the area has always been fundamentally broken. Even after all the evidence piled up, he continued to believe that state-sponsored terrorism was a genuine danger to the nation. Dick Cheney is now talking about al-Qaeda overthrowing a Middle Eastern country (if they need any tips: Lebanon and Iraq look like good pickings at the moment) to use as a base of
operations. Okay, so let’s get this straight. There’s never been any state-sponsored terrorism (apart from Qaddafi, but he’s a mate these days) but there’s going to be. Same story with nukes. The good old boys spend years worrying about someone nuking L.A. (they shouldn’t, Jack will deal with it). When September 11 happens, they tell us that a nuke will be next. Let’s face it, they aren’t
exactly Rick Rescorla.

It only gets worse when you consider the mess they’ve made of Iraq. I mean, my mate was actually in favour of kicking the Butcher of Baghdad out, but no-one can claim it was a job well done. I mean,
there’s been nearly as many Americans killed in Iraq as in the World Trade centre. And believe me, Osama’s buddies are working on catching up with that total every day. What’s worse, there seem to be a heck of a lot more islamic terrorists about than there were a few years ago. And most of them seem to have got going by Iraq. So we’ve actually made terrorists. Bin Laden must pray to God every day thanking him for Dubya.

Back in Lebanon, Hizbollah seem to laughing, as well. Iran’s managed to get rid of its moderates and really is working on nukes. And America’s out of troops to do anything about either. Shit, what we talking about before my mate started drinking? Oh yeah, Republicans are strong on security issues. Well, maybe most days, but this administration makes Jimmy Carter look good. But still they’re throwing their weight into scaring the American people as much as possible so that they can continue to push the country their way. My mate can’t remember what the word you use for people like that is. Oh yeah… terrorists.

Don’t come back

My mate was telling me that Fidel Castro has handed power to his brother. Old Fidel is one of the last old school South American dictators, in other words, scum. All over the continent, people have been kicking out those losers and trying to stick their country back together. Fidel has clung on and continued to strangle his country for twenty years more than most.

Some people reckon that Fidel’s a bit of a special case because he’s a commie. This makes him an automatic hero to some people, and an automatic demon to others. And there’s the big history with America, which makes him popular with the sort of people who don’t care who you are, as long as you make the Yanks look stupid. My mate doesn’t think the average Joe (or Juan) cares what political flavour his oppressor is.

And another thing. Your brother, Fidel? You mean that in the last fifty years since taking control you can’t think of anyone better to run the country than your brother? Well, there’s basically two possibilities. One is that your entire government is full of incompetents. The other is he’s the only guy you trust to give power back. Funny the way communist countries end up looking like absolute monarchies.

My mate’s mum went to Cuba last year. She said it was a dump. Let’s think about that for a minute. A dump. A poor dump. We’re talking about prime real estate rafting distance from Miami. The birthplace of salsa. This place should be minting it. People should be immigrating to Cuba, not trying to escape it. Sooner he’s gone for good, the better.

The NatWest Three

My mate isn’t the only person in the country angry about the NatWest Three, but he does wonder that some people seem to be angry about the wrong things.  We are talking about three guys who are being shipped off to another continent without a shred of evidence presented against them.  In comparison to that, lots of things sound pretty irrelevant like:

• Where they’re being shanghaied too.
• What you think of the American justice system.
• Whether Americans can be shanghaied in the same way as British people can.

And frankly, whether or not they’re guilty.  Let’s be straight about this: my mate doesn’t care.  They’re British Citizens and deserve to be better treated than this by their own government.

If you really want to be scared, consider this: there’s something like twenty-five other countries with whom Britain has similar deals.